Holy hustle, batman.
I really thought I was done with Mr. David Green and the Publishers Clearing House scammers working Lassen County, but I was wrong. I hung up on him Tuesday afternoon when he asked me to purchase two $500 Green Dot cards and send him the money so I could claim my $950,000 cash prize, a new Chrysler 300 and $7,000 a week for life. He called me back a couple of times later on Tuesday, but I didn’t pick up. He called me a couple of times on Wednesday, too, but I didn’t answer then either.
So, I was more than a little surprised when he called me again this morning. Sipping my first cup of coffee and feeling in the mood to start my day with a little absurdity theatre, I answered. Mr. Green said he was calling me back because somehow we’d been disconnected on Tuesday, and PCH was still very interested in helping me claim my prize.
I told him I had checked with PCH and they said they never make phone calls to winners — any contact with them is always done in person. He said, yes, that is true, but in my case I hadn’t returned the claim form I allegedly received in the mail three weeks ago. OK, I said. If PCH never makes phone calls to notify winners why are we talking now? He said he wasn’t calling to notify me I was a winner. He said he was calling because I had to have the claim form I didn’t return to PCH in order to receive my prize. He said he was calling me to help me get that claim form so PCH could come to my house this very afternoon and deliver my prize. All I had to do to receive my prize was go to the local neighborhood drug store and purchase some Green Dot cards.
He asked me if I had $2,800. I said yes, I do, but then I reminded him that on Tuesday he had only wanted $1,000. He apologized and said PCH wanted me to receive my prize so badly they were going to help me pay some of the cost of getting my claim form and the other $1,800 would be deducted from the cash prize I would receive today. When I went to the bank and cashed my $950,000 check, I could repay the $1,800 PCH had fronted me. He again said he was sorry he hadn’t noticed PCH had offered on Tuesday to help me pay less to obtain my claim form, and that’s why he had asked for $2,800 today when I was right, the correct amount was only $1,000.
I said, well whatever the amount, PCH says they never ask a winner to pay a fee to obtain a prize. Mr. Green said, yes, that’s also absolutely correct. So, I asked, why are you asking me to send you money if a winner never has to pay to receive a prize? He said I’m not paying to receive my prize — I’ve already won that. I’m paying to get my claim number which I will need to receive my prize when PCH arrives at my front door this afternoon. The cards, he said, are my claim number.
Oh boy, I said, now I’m really confused. I buy a couple of Green Dot cards at a local store and they contain my claim number from PCH? I don’t get that. We discussed this seeming incongruity for a couple of minutes, and I kept telling him no matter what I wasn’t going to send him any money. Finally, he began to get angry. So you’re telling me you don’t want your prize? he asked. I said, no, no, no, I definitely want my prize. What I don’t want is to send you any money.
“So, you’re not going to send the money?” he abruptly asked flat out.
“No,” I said — and before I could utter another word, he hung up.
Being the stinker I am, I thought I might put a little more pucker in his pucker and send him a link to the story about our previous conversation I had posted on Lassen News yesterday so maybe he’d see the warning was out and leave our community alone. But when I tried to do that, guess what — according to my phone, I had not received a call from him this morning. Imagine that.
Hey, folks. This is a scam. Please do not be taken in by this fast-talking swindler.